None of these are as poetic as my favorite overheard comment from some months back. But humor me anyway; I’m still regaining my strength after several days down South.
Overheard in Greenville, SC, Bob Jones University art gallery* edition:
Geeky Religious Dad, to wife in floor-length denim skirt and two gawky homeschoolish teen boys, backing away from a portrait of a fierce looking Virgin Mother holding a chubby little Christ child while crushing the head of a serpent underfoot: “I like this painting. But I do not like that it shows Mary’s bare foot. No [shaking head gravely], I do not like that at all.”
Overheard in New York, predictable edition:
Blonde walking up Lexington Avenue with a big SCOOP bag slung over her shoulder, on cell phone: “No, I’m on my way to get my eyebrows done. But if you want to meet me at 80th and Madison I can give you a quick peck.”
Overheard in an office, stolen from my dear friend O- edition:
Slackjawed yokel co-worker, commenting on handbag: “huh-huh ... Prada ... the devil wears Prada. Is that from that movie? Did you get that because of that movie?”
*Yes, it is with some regret that I confess to giving this unfortunate institution money in order to look at their impressive collection of religious art from the 14th-19th centuries. Actually, my mom did. And actually, we only visited so that Mr. Management and my Russophile mother could see the vast collection of Russian icons housed there; they are, unfortunately, in storage for the next two years. Anyway, they have lots of other stuff, including two paintings that actually feature God Himself. It’s true, he really is an old white guy with a beard!
But the best part – aside from Easily Offended Religious Dad – was when my mom attempted to guilt-trip the Bob Jones gift shop lady who broke the news about the missing icons by telling her that we had traveled “all the way from New York City just to see them.”
I tell you, my mother's guilting technique is unstoppable! I’ll bet that cashier is still smarting from it. The poor thing may never know that we were actually in Greenville to visit my family anyway ...